Hey it's me :)
today this girl asked me if we were hiring and we are but i told her we weren’t because right now im the prettiest girl that works here and if she got hired i wouldn’t be anymore
June 2013
excuse me favorite character did i give you permission to die
what do you call a hooker that you pay with spaghetti?
a pastatute
how many people unfollowed you because of this
20
How to get laid
- Lay on bed
- Wait 2 hours
- Lay becomes past tense
it’s so cute when you talk to someone a lot and then you notice the little phrases that you use and the stupid little things you say slipping into their vocabulary more and more
Gay marriage should be legal because gay divorce court shows would be fucking hilarious
who even came up with the word motherfucker in the first place?
oedipus
the fastest way to a girl’s heart is through reblogging her selfie
did britney spears ever find amy
we’re obviously not going to die if the jonas brothers have been to the year 3000
